Thursday, September 10, 2020

A Child With Rose-Colored Glasses

According to the dictionary, rose-colored glasses are: a happy or positive attitude that fails to notice negative things, leading to a view of life that is not realistic.

Hmm… what is “realistic”, anyway? But about this  in a minute.

In my youth, people repeatedly told me that looking at life through rose-tinted glasses, like I did, is irresponsible, childish and will lead to disappointment, mistakes, blunders, blah-blah-blah, etc., etc. According to them life was a battlefield, dog-eat-dog world; so I had to forget all “that nonsense”, you know, “grow up and take life more seriously” (although, why the assumption that I was not serious? I can be serious and chipper at the same time), learn to calculate, manipulate, force the matters, control events, grab life by its horns... What horns?! (sigh) What is worse – at some point I believed them. Yup. I betrayed myself, took off my rose-colored glasses and started getting ready for the battle. (Fanfares!)

Ah! It was exhausting, simply exhausting. And, of course, none of it worked. It was a good lesson, however, and maybe if I did not take off my pink-tinted glasses and did not try to grab life by its horns (which is where?!!) – I would have never appreciated them fully. But then again – who knows.

After many beatings I took from life, after I became weary of not being myself, I realized that not wearing the pink-tinted glasses and seeing the world “
realistically” does not make one any happier, even if they do reach “success”, fame, riches... – they still make the same mistakes, they still stumble, they still fall, get up, fall, get up… The only difference is that it is a lot more fun with the glasses on, when the world is more beautiful, colorful and friendly.

OK, so what is reality? What does it mean –
leading to a view of life that is not realistic? According to one of the definitions in the dictionary, reality is: the state of things as they are, rather than as they are imagined to be. Ambiguous much? 

Fine, let’s do this, let's play their game: picture a rainy day…

Scenario 1: A man, who is in love, is walking under the rain, he is happy, the rain is his friend, the man literally dances in the rain.
Scenario 2: A homeless person’s cardboard roof collapses because of the same rain, he feels forlorn, he curses his fate.

Which of these two scenarios is the reality and which is imagined?

No, I’m sorry, but don't even try convincing me that reality is objective. It is absolutely subjective. Having
a happy or positive attitude that fails to notice negative things is crucial to me. Seeing the world through pink-colored glasses may not change the events and the bad things are still there (although, this is a very! arguable point), but why would I pay attention to anything negative, when there is so much positive around?

It is an “Every cloud has a silver lining” kind of deal, or “One door closes, another opens” or “Nothing is bad without being good for something” or 
“Չկա չարիք առանց բարիք“ or Нет худа без добра”. Take your pick.

Anyway… There came a day when I put my rose-tinted glasses back on, and the world around me started breathing again. What a relief! I was always mature, but I plan not to “grow up” again, after all being child
like is totally different from being childish.

The thing is when kids play – they do so very seriously. They don’t think playing is unimportant or meaningless. No, no, no. They consider having fun utterly serious business indeed. My niece once said to me “I would like to read more, but I am so busy playing, I just don’t have the time.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I hear ‘serious’ people saying, “it’s all very good, but life is not a game.”

Says who? Where do you get this information? Is there a textbook about life you aren’t telling us about and are reading alone, under your bed covers? (eye roll)

Hindus call life Lila – play. Jesus said “[…] unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”.

So, I say 
– let’s put on our rose-colored glasses and have some serious fun.


Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Time, not no time

So… time. Yeah. Okay. So…  

Time…

Definition and concept of time is baffling, perplexing, enigmatic, and scientists and philosophers have spent a lot of time (pun intended) trying to explain it. It’s been defined as measure, period, chronology, one-directional flow of events, dimension, scalar quantity, emergent property, space-time, time-space, entropy, clock...

But I do not want to touch on those ideas, because a) I am not very competent in the confusing scientific approach, and b) I have not made up my mind about whether or not I even believe time exists, except as a formality we adopted to make life more convenient. (Cycles 
 yes, time – not so sure.)  In a documentary I saw a long time ago, someone said “When people say it’s Thursday, I have no idea what they mean”. Hahaha… And indeed, no tree needs a calendar to know when to bloom, no teenager needs to know his age to get his world turned upside down, no bird needs a clock to know when to wake up.

I would like to invoke your imagination. Picture space-time and us in that space-time, now mark year 2020 A.D. with a red dot and year 3586 B.C. with a yellow dot. Envision how far apart they are. Now move back and look at those dots again, they would be much closer to each other. Now move back farther, farther, farther… At some point the space between them vanishes and we are left with one orange dot. So! From the point of view of eternity and infinity – time is the same at all times, just like space is the same everywhere. 

Another thing that interests me is the relativity of time. Again, not the scientific relativity – clocks running slower or faster, but the relativity we feel individually, through experiences. Time is not like a ruler, where a meter is always one hundred centimeters, its length changes according to our moods and the state of being: it can be long, short, heavy and light, it can become viscous or diluted. When we are working, when we do something we enjoy – time runs fast. This happens to me when I am writing – it's as if I enter another dimension, 
– at one point I look at the clock and… What?! Is that the time? Or when we are waiting, when we are anxious – time stretches like taffee and half an hour seems like a lifetime.

There was a time when I was surrounded by people who waited for Fridays, which according to them was the best day of the week. To me it’s like saying “w” is my favorite letter, or “La” is my favorite musical note, or green is my favorite color. It all depends on when, where, how, how much, for what and with whom. 

So, yeah, waiting for Fridays… People waited for Fridays to enjoy their lives, they counted down to Fridays, they killed their Wednesdays, in the hopes that Friday would come a little sooner, thus completely dismissing the rest of the weekdays, thus utterly 
losing the rest of the weekdays. Putting so much pressure on one little day and on yourself (because you have to make the best of it, you waited an entire week for it!) makes your Friday fly so fast, that pretty soon you realize it’s already Sunday and tomorrow you have to start counting down again.

This disrespect towards time seemed awful to me, so, I made a conscious decision not to fall into that trap and enjoy each and every day. And something miraculous happened, my time stretched. The years became longer, months fuller, days more productive. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this decision made me “here and now”. Because what does it mean to be here and now? It means that we notice each second that passes by; we notice it, we remember it, we are glad to see it, we are not waiting for it to pass, we don’t think about any place else, any time else, we are enjoying what we are doing and what we are surrounded by.

I think we should stop insulting time with phrases
 such as "time flies", "a race against time", "killing time", "passing time", "losing time", "wasting time", "out of time", "no time to lose", "on borrowed time", "time hangs heavy", "pressed for time", "run out of time" and my least favorite "life is short". 

“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us […] Life is long if you know how to use it.” ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Here is where, I think, our misconception about time in general comes from: our clocks and calendars are based on the planetary movements 
 Earth rotates on its axis in 86,400 seconds, it moves around the Sun in 365 days and 6 hours, but that’s Earth’s movement, not mine. I happen to be on Earth, sure, but I am not Earth. It affects me, yes, but so does the butterfly flapping its wing. Counting my time using Earth’s movement seems irrational to me.

To me time is the collection of images I gather as I walk through life: a conversation I had, a thought I thought, 
a book I read, a mountain I gazed at… I washed my hands, I played a piano, I cooked a meal, I walked, I saw a house, a mouse, a moose... And if I pay attention to every detail around me and am constantly conscious of where I am and what I am doing – then the amount of images in my head multiplies, making time longer and smoother. 

So... time... Yeah...

I'll leave you with an excerpt from 
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by C.S. Lewis.

“If you knew Time as well as I do,” said the Hatter, “you wouldn’t talk about wasting IT. It’s HIM.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” said Alice.

“Of course you don’t!” the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. “I dare say you never even spoke to Time!”

“Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied: “but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.”

“Ah! that accounts for it,” said the Hatter. “He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. […]”

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Притча о Человеке, Который Просто Стоял















Однажды по пути из одного города в другой, трое друзей, сделав привал на обочине дороги, завидели человека, стоявшего на холме. За всё время их привала, этот человек не сдвинулся с места, что заинтересовало друзей.

- Наверное он пасёт овец, вот и стоит на холме, за отарой присматривает, - говорит один из друзей.

- Нет, - отвечает другой, - рядом же ни души. Он наверное ждёт кого-то.

- Да, нет, - отвечает третий, - если бы он ждал кого-то, то был бы неспокоен и смотрел бы вдаль. Он просто восхищается природой, смотрите какой выдался день.

Поспорив ещё немного, друзья решили пойти и спросить самого человека, что же он там делает. Подходят они к нему и говорят, что мол - так и так, увидели мы тебя издали и поспорили о том, что ты тут делаешь; один сказал, что ты ждёшь кого-то, другой - что ты пасёшь овец, третий - что ты восхищаешься природой. Так кто же из нас прав?

- Никто, - ответил человек. - Я просто стою.

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Armenian Velvet Evolution!


Written for an interview for "Azad Magazine" on May 4,  2018

My ancestry is from Kars and Sebastia, which at the time were part of Armenia. Because of the Armenian genocide, my families had to flee: my father’s side of family came to Yerevan; my mother’s side of family first fled to Russia, then Georgia, then finally in the 60’s – to Yerevan. I have lived in Moscow for 5 years and in Los Angeles for 17. And every time we (both my family and I) came back to Armenia – we absolutely loved that decision. Armenia has a Call. “Հայաստանը Կանչ ունի”: And if you have at least one drop of Armenian blood in your veins – you will hear that Call, and you can do nothing but oblige it. I do not know of any other country, where the population is almost 100% natives, and I don’t know of any other nation, where people who have lived abroad for centuries, or didn’t even know they were Armenians for a long time - call Armenia “Homeland”. That was one of the many reasons why the Velvet Revolution worked.

1. Through your look, your testimony, what explanation for this crisis?

The crisis was a long time coming. As with everything, it wasn’t just one big issue, but a compilation of many smaller disappointments (there is a Russian phrase “devil is in the details”). The most prominent being: the rise to power and money of people with no moral, human or spiritual values, of those who betrayed the human in them; blatant lies by the government and their cronies; nepotism; their impudent abuse of our country and human resources; injustice followed by impunity for those select few; the hatred towards their own people. The chilling thing was that these non-humans were in fashion for a long time; it was en vogue to not care, to be aggressive, to use, abuse and disregard; and recently, seeing how difficult it was to live if you were out of this “fashion” – even spiritually advanced people started questioning their own values, thinking that God abandoned them, and they should start behaving like criminals. Armenia and its Diaspora are very small, we all know each other, we know in which casino our budget money was spent and how much, we know who killed who, who said and did what and with whom… It incensed people to know that they were governed by fiends, who do not even care enough to hide their atrocities. I have been noticing a trend for the past 2 years: people are tired of being lied to and, more importantly, people are tired of telling lies. They were shown the “fashion of being a beast”, they tried it on and finally came to a conclusion that they don’t like it. They want to be Human. Simple as that.  

2. Is this a political and/or social crisis?

I believe, at the core, regular folk only care about social stability and a beautiful, peaceful country, where they can raise generations of content people, who would dance, sing, learn, create, eat, enjoy each other’s company, tell jokes and have deep, profound conversations. But since that was impossible, what with Armenia being ripped apart by gluttons most of whom occupied government seats, the crisis became political. Armenians like justice. We have been denied justice for centuries. But when the justice is denied from within – that is unacceptable.

3. What is your point of view on Nikol Pachinyan, Leader of the Opposition?

Mr. Pashinyan is a today’s man: it is an important thing to walk in step with time. From his speeches and strategies I recognize him as a very talented, smart, well-read, educated, caring, gentle and reflective leader. And he is a leader, no doubt about it! He showed our people that we were right to stay faithful to ourselves, to care like we care, to think like we think, to want what we want. He is, simply put, a good person. There is talk as to Mr. Pashinyan’s qualifications as a prime minister; these accusations seem feeble, petty and comical to me. What do they expect? Perfection? Can they show me one perfect individual? No, they cannot. As I see it, Mr. Pashinyan has been publically fighting for justice since the 80’s and cares about making this country just and fair. As for the doubts, I will say it with Maya Angelou’s words: “I did then what I knew best, when I knew better, I did better.” Mr. Pashinyan, like we Armenians say, is my kind of person. During the entire Revolution, there was not a single thing on which I disagreed with him or a moment I doubted his motives. He does what he says, he says what he thinks and he, definitely, thinks what he says.

4. Seen from here (France), there is still a concern about Russia's reaction. Do you think Moscow will react? If yes, how?

It is very important to listen to our senses and not rely too much on the opinions of political players or those journalists, who get paid to scare and confuse the public. In my opinion - Russia has already reacted as much as it would. The age of the money-men has ended; this is the era of spiritual (հոգևոր) beings. And Russia, being spiritual (contrary to what other countries may be lead to believe), is also growing; it is already learning from Armenia’s example, and I do not mean the revolution, but the moral lessons. Not one normal human being can watch our Love and Peace Revolution and not be affected by its light. So, I say it again – Russia has already reacted as much as it would.

5. How do you see the end of the crisis? What new day for Armenian youth?

Good! I see the end and the beginning - good! There is a lot of work to do: clean out the trash left by the previous “tenants”, decide, make, create, change, protect… Mr. Pashinyan is on the right path – he knows that changes must come gradually; he doesn’t rush things that will take time and doesn’t postpone what needs to be done immediately. And he has the young minds to help him.

The amusing thing in all of this was that few people knew that we had such smart, advanced, fearless, loving and kind youth. That is why in the beginning, the ruling “elite” was at their ease, they did not anticipate the demonstrations would go in such new, unexpected, inventive, funny and merry key, or that these “children” would not be afraid of them, like the older generations used to be. These bandits do not know the language of love, tolerance, compassion – they heard about it somewhere once, but thought it was a joke; they don’t believe in its existence - they only know the language of thugs. And that is what they were anticipating: offensive language, negotiations, accusations, blame, rage, fights, threats… They thought, “we will scare them (their “own” people - doesn’t that sound preposterous?) with police, with fictitious threats from the border, we will take away their leader and all will return to the distorted, twisted world we enjoyed...” But the youth were like “Why are you sawing off the branch on which you are sitting? Oh, well, do what you do, that’s your choice. But you will not take us with you. Nope. We don’t even want to listen to what you have to say – just leave and be forgotten”. And when the parents saw that their children are on the streets demanding a change for their future – they rose up and followed their kids, feeling proud of the citizens they raised. And when the grandparents saw their families and friends on the streets of Armenia, which they thought was lost, – they awoke and recognized the chance cannot be missed, and they, in turn, followed their families to advise and protect them.

So, how come all went peacefully? Many-many reasons, but I will list a few. One: because we are one nation, one language, one religion, and every Armenian across the world joined this Velvet Evolution, as I call it. Two: this is the 21st century, the era of a conscious human being (no matter an activist or a policeman). Plus many participants of the movement were born or raised in the 21st century – they have different mindset, values, beliefs, ethics, and unlimited access to the internet, which recorded every single action on both sides, and made the event as public as possible. 

When you speak from your soul – you have nothing to hide, even if you are wrong; and on the contrary – you have everything to hide if you sold your soul to the “devil”. It is very interesting to me that even when one has betrayed every human aspect in them – they still KNOW they are wrong (although, they hide it even from themselves); indeed, that tiny and vast spark of God inside us knows right from wrong.

Three: most of the police (I’m not talking about the criminals in their midst, whom you can recognize by the unhealthy shine in their eyes) were with the protesters at heart, plus, they knew - this is Armenia, it’s small, the crowd is comprised of their neighbors, friends, coworkers, their wife’s cousin’s father-in-law’s sister-in-law. So, if you want to live a decent life, have a good family (one of the most important things for an Armenian) and be able to look people in the eyes – you must be wholly conscious of your actions.

This is a true spiritual awakening for Armenia, and already for the entire world.
I am grateful. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Притча про двух монахов



Однажды старый и молодой монах возвращались в свою обитель. Путь их пересекала река, которая из-за дождей сильно разлилась. На берегу стояла молодая женщина, которой также нужно было перебраться на противоположный берег, но она не могла обойтись без посторонней помощи.

Обет строго-настрого запрещал монахам прикасаться к женщинам, и молодой монах демонстративно отвернулся от нее. Старый же монах подошел к женщине, взял ее на руки и перенес через реку.

Весь оставшийся путь монахи хранили молчание, но у самой обители молодой монах не выдержал и сказал: "Как ты мог прикоснуться к женщине!? Ты же давал обет!"

На что старый монах спокойно ответил: " Да, это так. Но обрати к себе свой взор. Я её давно у ручья оставил, ты же несешь с собою до сих пор!»

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Cheer up, this is a new age











Since the start of the new cosmic era, which began in 2012 (look up 
Earth’s precession; if you’re interested), everyone, be it a scientist, a janitor, an electrician, an artist, a housewife… are trying to find alternative ways of feeling better, that is to say - being better. I say alternative, because for millennia the accepted, expected and coveted ways for being respected, “successful” and envied were money, power, possession, dominance. And if you didn’t have “power”, money or connections, then you struggled, lived in poverty or worse – subjugation. But that "successful way" only worked for some and only for a short period of time, after which, usually, came hell: legal problems, loss of power, nasty illnesses, hatred, “untimely” death and deaths of the family, murder, oblivion... Fortunately, that fashion has ended; the new fashion is for a human being, who has all the qualities to warrant the name “Human Being”.

14 years ago I was taking short-form Improv classes, and one day, during the game of Pantomime, our teacher, Chris, said that if you draw the same circle over and over and your partner cannot guess what it is – you need to stop and come up with a different way of explaining. There is also the famous quote “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” My point is: people tried the "conventional" way, it didn't work and so, they started changing. Changing their way of thinking and behaving, their values are of a different value now (no pun intended). People are tired of being bad. Simple as that. And they are looking for alternative ways to be, which leads them to look in, which in turn leads to growth, compassion, and so on. Each person according to their capability.  

Throughout the known history, there were countless writers, scientists, messiahs, missionaries, leaders, artists, who saw the right Path and tried convincing others to come with them up that Path. But they all failed. And not because their ideology was flawed or imperfect, but due to disadvantageous position of Earth’s axis. I know, I know… many will raise their eyebrows and smirk at this statement and say that this is childish nonsense. But let’s think about this: our Moon’s gravity moves oceans; humans are 80% water. What does it mean? That Moon affects us. Besides being logical, this is also a proven scientific fact. So, if a small, tiny moon can affect us, our mood, our behavior, what can be done by a mass of gigantic, enormous stars, black holes and nebulas, which we now begin facing due to Earth's precession changes? Imagine the waves now entering Earth's axis-antenna.

For ages, this ubiquitous change was anticipated and described in detail as part of perpetual series of cycles – or rather continuous journey up a spiral: Vedas, the Bible, the Mayan calendar, just to name the most famous sources. Armenian epos "Daredevils of Sassoun".

Again, I can hear the skeptics say: “Myths, old wives’ tales”. And I say: “Double standards much? You’d believe something written in a science magazine, which of course you can’t check or prove (it reminds me of the quote from The Lego Movie “You don't know me, but I'm on TV, so you can trust me”), but you won’t believe something written as a fairy tale only because it speaks in symbols? You'd dismiss the old texts as "metaphors", simply because they don't seem plausible to you? You’d believe one thing those scientists say, but not the other?” 

I like the quote by Werner Heisenberg, a German scientist: "The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass - God is waiting for you." But I am not here to convince anyone. The evidence of a change is apparent, who wants to see it – will.

The change is even more apparent to me, because I changed. Years ago, in one of my blogs I wrote “honest, fair and good people are a disappearing breed”. I am happy to say – I was wrong! The good people, the individuals that are now in fashion are multiplying with an astounding speed, as if the process itself has become a race. The best proof to me was an event we witnessed in April-May of this year – the Armenian Velvet Revolution, which not only changed the regime, but the mentality, the ideas, the beliefs. The entire nation, not only in Armenia but across the globe, has become more considerate, polite; we smile even more than before, because now we know – humans can change the world.

So how come not all can see the change? We, as a society, have a habit of looking the wrong way. If to our right is a beautiful flower and to our left is a pile of doo-doo, we have a habit of looking at the doo-doo. We discuss it, condemn it, write lengthy statuses about it, revel in the hate of it. We think a beautiful flower is a given. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but to disregard it for a pile of smelly excrement is…. unwise.  

One of the important things to understand is that not only humans are affected by the Earth’s precession: plants and animals who “don’t have” the consciousness we are so proud of, caught on to this “metamorphosis” much sooner. All the instances of different species of animals rescuing each other; lions, bears and wolves hugging humans, octopuses saying thanks… This indicates to me that everyone, correction: everything is striving to become better. You might say: “What about all those natural disasters?” Well, who is to say that it isn’t Earth rebelling against the violence we have done? Who is to say that water, which holds vast amounts of information (note for the skeptics: proven by science) isn’t shaking off all the accumulated nasty information and pollution? And this time the position of Earth’s axis, which is rotating toward the center of Milky Way, is aiding us. All of Us. In Russian this age is called Svarog’s Morning (Утро Сварога) and we are at the beginning of it - the Dawn. 

I’ve always liked the time, in which I was born - a cusp of two eras. I thought myself lucky to experience both the hand-written letter sent by snail mail and the internet where petabytes are traveling to and fro within seconds; however XXI century proved to me that I am lucky in a larger sense. 

Lots of hard work awaits those who strive to move up, but I view it as a fun, albeit difficult game, at which I know I will succeed with the help of everything that surrounds me. To the pessimists I will say that the “judgment day” is upon us, those who are not willing to change will be flushed down the toilet, so to speak. To the optimists I will say "Don’t worry about them, stop looking at the doo-doo and focus on those who are walking alongside you with the flower in their hair."

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Притча о Совести и Истине


Однажды, пришёл один человек к мудрецу и спросил его:
- Скажи мне мудрец, как мне правильно жить.
На что мудрец ответил: 
- Да живи ты по Совести.
- И всё? - удивился человек.
- И всё, - ответил мудрец.
Удивился человек, и решил тогда он поскитаться по миру, поискать истинный смысл жизни, который бы удовлетворил его.
Много лет скитался человек, повидал он многое, научился многому, повстречал и скитов и мудрецов и простых людей, и семьёю обзавелся... И, наконец, под старость вернулся он в родное селение. Навстречу ему высыпали обрадованные люди и всем хотелось знать нашёл ли он истину.
- Ты проскитался столько лет, узнал ли ты как правильно жить, о мудрец?
- Да, живите вы по Совести, - был его ответ.    
 Истина на поверхности, но смотреть на неё надо из глубины.  

Friday, October 20, 2017

“I did then what I knew best, when I knew better, I did better”

That's a famous quote by Maya Angelou, and one of my favorites.

There are many simple, yet profound, concepts and sayings we have heard and know to be accurate, but which we do not comprehend fully and do not actively practice. We throw these aphorisms and sayings right and left and fail to understand what they actually mean. No, not the words – the Meaning.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had this dialogue: me - “This needs to be done”, other person - “I know”, me – “I don’t need you to know, I need you to do”. It’s as if we are asleep and the understanding happens only on the surface, after which we forget about the profound thought, or, worse, find ways of discrediting it. Many say it’s because we are lazy, we don’t want the change, we are afraid of it, but I think the problem is deeper.

The problem is that our thinking is primitive. I have brought up this example before: if we hold a pen with its pointed end facing us – we only see the pointed end; as soon as we turn the pen sideways – we see a larger picture. At first, it was three millimeters of… something we can’t recognize, only assume; and now we see it was an end of a pen, the pen is long, it has a color, texture, etc, etc.
Sure, it is so easy to understand what Maya Angelou meant with these words “I did then what I knew best, when I knew better, I did better”. It means people make mistakes and learn as they go, and they should not feel guilty about their inexperience, only to strive to be better persons. Sure. But this quote can be viewed from so many different sides. 

Here is one of them (I will let you ponder on the rest).
When someone is rude, or insulting, or abusive, or childish, or does any number of foolish things… if we understand that they are simply incapable of being nicer, because they are ignorant and don’t know any better, because they have no inner strength, wisdom and kindness to act any other way, because they are afraid – our lives become easier. Now the mystery of the “why” is solved. Now we know why the rudeness. And we learn to be more compassionate.

However…

This doesn’t mean that we should let them do it to us. No way. The saying “If someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also” has continuation - “but don’t allow them to strike”. This is the crucial part of the saying. Yes, we should be understanding, loving, kind and wise, but we should not allow "evil" to be done to us simply because the person doing it is ignorant and we are not. If this happens long enough – only evil will stand in the end, all the good guys would have been slapped to death.

So, yeah… “I did then what I knew best, when I knew better, I did better”. 

Friday, November 29, 2013

It's a Myth... We Can't Love Everyone

There is a new trend among people today: "loving everyone". It stemmed from a genuine, good place, but without understanding human limitations it turned sour, a must, an obsession, a burden. People go above and beyond in forcing themselves to achieve this impossible feat. Some have been brainwashed into following the trend and believing that it's doable. It's not. (Unless they've reached enlightenment, which, judging by their confused behavior, they haven't.)
But why would anyone want to love everyone? Everyone means sick people like Charles Manson as well. I don't think he "deserves" love like the trend suggests he does. 

The trend suggests a lot of things and all of it in a very indirect, hidden and passive aggressive manner.
It suggests that we are perfect. One might miss this subtle trend within a trend, but demanding us to overcome regular human emotions such as jealousy, envy, grief, anger - all in the name of loving everyone - does mean expecting us to be superhuman. This trend also advocates that anger, grief, sorrow, jealousy are emotions below us superhumans and need to be overcome and eradicated, like a decease. (But on this some other time.)

What I wanted to say is that we don't have to love everyone, we can't love everyone and a lot of people are mean and don't deserve being loved. Some of you may point out the Buddhist way of looking at life and tell me I'm wrong, that we must love everyone in order to become better us. I don't deny I could be wrong for those who truly strive for enlightenment, who meditate and actively practice the "Buddhist" loving. Those who dedicate their lives to achieving the "all loving", who have reached a level of calm and balance within themselves before tackling the hardest thing of all, being gods. 
But people with everyday stress, rejection, work, chores, ups, downs, traffic, money, busy minds, dealing with others and their equally busy minds can't expect themselves to achieve the zen. And without zen one can't overcome jealousy and love the person who stole his wife, or who rejected his dream project, who told him lies, who hurt him, or killed someone he loved. It's almost impossible to love someone who means the mean things he says, who revels in feeling superior, belittling others to feel higher himself.

We must not blame ourselves for not loving everyone. It's better to accept early on that humans have human emotions and limitation and unless those have been overcome, we cannot and should not love everyone and that's how it is.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Go ahead, look up

When was the last time you looked UP? 

I have been noticing more and more that people don't look up higher than their eye level. But existence below eye level makes people petty, small, shallow, and forces them to forget the scale of it all.  
Some of them look at me as if I'm crazy when I look at the clouds, or the birds flying (around 6 p.m., hundreds of crows make huge rounds above Yerevan; it's bewitching), or the mountains, or the new Moon... I'm used to those stares, they don't bother me in the least. But it boggles my mind why anyone would limit themselves to just one plane or level of existence.

According to a scientific research, knowing and, most importantly, picturing where you are geographically - not only North, East, West, South, but also the relationship of one's location to others (say: west of Black Sea, north of Turkey, south of Russia, in the middle of the country, 600 meter above ocean, as well as the relationship of our planet to other bodies in the Universe) - makes a person calmer, more balanced, less irritable, better at communications, better at navigating through life, and rids one of the feeling of being lost. 

But even if that isn't true and even if our geographic location doesn't matter for our health, I still say go ahead and look up. Lift your face from the stresses and grime of everyday life, put everything in a different perspective. See what's up there. Let it make you feel lighter.
Look up.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Channel your moods into your passion

All writers periodically suffer from writer's block, plus all of our muses are a bit fickle, only making the path we chose so much more arduous. But along with being inspired, imaginative, having good language, vocabulary and skill we also have to have the writing muscle developed, trained, practiced and exercised. "Everyday", as we are told by more productive writers.

To be frank, I have relied on my muse more than I would like to admit, making excuses of why I can't write, of what's keeping me from telling the stories that I dream about every night, and which have been brewing in my head for years.

Last year through one of those productive writers' blogs I heard about NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month) http://www.nanowrimo.org/, which is a virtual writers camp. You sign up with them, and during the month of November write 50,000 words of the first draft of your novel ("draft" being the operative word). This year they asked each participant to share information about them, hence this blog. Thanks for that, NaNoWriMo, you gave me something to think and write about.
Last year I didn't last for more than 16,000 words. (I had an excuse. Yup, one of those again.) But seeing how many people are successful with this program and are published writers now... Yeah, that gives you a good kick on your behind and says "if this is what you really want to be then stop wasting your precious time and be it".
I'm not the first or only one to drop out from this program. There are many things that stand between us and our dreams: work, people, being tired, society telling us "why bother?", not being in the mood...
But I decided to start channeling my moods and anger into writing. Good luck.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Foundation of the Little Blue Planet


Today I realized something, which many people may have realized a long time ago. But that's life - you learn things according to your readiness and general circumstance.

The reason Earth is still standing (or rotating) is people who are honest, fair, open, clear, straight forward, who take pride in what they do, take responsibility for their work and their own mistakes, who know how to communicate with one another and whose souls always smile. Unfortunately, it is a disappearing breed. Our world is filled with the exact opposite type of creatures, and, regrettably, they are running it (and look what they've done to it). 

Fortunately, we are the foundation of society. If not for us - these mongrels would have eaten each other alive and blown up this rock a loooong time ago. We are the reason why businesses still run, the buildings don't crumble, why these losers haven't massacred everything in their wake yet... While they are the reason why laws get more and more complicated, why trust is no longer in the cards and why the whole planet is warring. 

For us, this is a difficult society to live in. We are not well equipped for survival in the community they've created. Them and us - we speak in different languages. Our values are absolutely foreign to them. Explaining anything to these half-humans is like telling a carnivorous flower that butterflies it's eating also want to live. It's like reasoning with a violent truck coming at you. It's like fighting with a chainsaw.

We are what prevents these brutes from total destruction. Somehow we are able to tie and restrain this mass of filth. It's an arduous task, but I am glad we are.
"Мир строится на таких как Я."

edit: (according to Zophorian, who left a comment below, honor is primary and should be the origin of honesty, and I completely and totally agree. Honor.)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Duality-shmuality

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - William Shakespeare

Not many people know this fact, but there are no such things as black or white colors in our world. By true scientific definitions: black is the absence of color; white is the blending of all colors. While we, humans, consider them to be colors, they do not exist in nature.

Of course if we go a little deeper, then we'd see that nothing is as we perceive it. But it's not as if our perception is wrong either.
Take a pen and turn it so that you can only see its tip - that would be how most people perceive life, universe, existence. As we turn the pen sideways, we see how much we aren't taking into consideration, how much we are missing.

But I went a little off track here.

There is no 'this' or 'that'. It's not like the 'black' and 'white' we perceive, but like 'white' - all encompassing, or like 'black' - non-existent.
 
As I see it, this duality we seem to have adopted thousands of years ago and are still practicing, is the primordial sin spiritual teachings talk about. (I view the Bible as a book of metaphors and not true stories.) The apple of knowledge Adam and Eve consumed, thus getting banished from Eden... Knowledge of WHAT? This has baffled me for years. Knowledge of WHAT?
And then I realized: dualism. Creating these polarities. Taking a whole and splitting it. Separating that which cannot, may not and shall not be separate. And for that they were "banished" from Eden to a world of humans' own devising - the dual one. Unless we learn to perceive the world as a whole - we will not return to Eden.

Maureen Murdock says: "We live in a dualist culture which values, creates and sustains polarities - an either/or mentality which locates ideas and people on opposite ends of a spectrum. [...] We separate spirit from matter, mind from body, science from art, good from evil, life from death, women from men, fat from thin, young from old..."

But when does young end and old begin?
We cannot separate our physical body from spirit, because they are one. Is it bad? No. Is it good? No. It just is.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Dear mom and dad

I guess, it's one of the most ancient stories: parents vs. children.

I've thought about this for a long time and came to a conclusion that a good connections between the two parties is possible (I've seen it happen); all they need is - no, not only love, mere love isn't enough, I'm afraid - communication, understanding and respect & trust.
Most of the families have the love part of the equation down. Then on the list is communication, then we have understanding with lesser percentage, and the last comes respect, which in many families is almost lacking. 

Everyone knows the definition of the word 'respect', undoubtedly, but so many don't fully comprehend what it entails to have respect, especially when it concerns their children.

While we're small we need our folks to tells us what's good and bad, to help us differentiate right from wrong, to tell us that fire burns, to forbid us hanging out with dangerous crowds, to show & teach us how the world operates. As we grow older this sort of parenting needs to be slowly replaced with support, understanding, acceptance, trust and respect. Of course, I don't think there is a specific date or age for this: it's gradual and individual.

I know the scariest part of parenting is realizing that your children no longer need you. But this isn't true, we always need them, just not in the same way, not for the same things. True - we don't need them to tell us fire burns, but we want their support, when we do decide to stick our hand in that fire. There is always a need for them to give us advice and to think and care about us, but we no longer need them to choose and think for us.

Parents forget that when they were the age of their grown children - they already had families and kids. They considered themselves adults, which according to Merriam-Webster dictionary means fully developed and mature. So how does it happen that they were "fully mature" at our age, yet we're not? Why do they think we are incapable of making our own decisions, our own choices? Why do they think they know what's good for us? Why don't they trust us to choose the right path for ourselves? After all, this is our life not theirs; it's us who'd have to live with those choices for the rest of our lives. 
Well, it's many things, really: a little fear of being unneeded, a habit, maybe control issues, but mostly I think it's because they expected us to be someone else. Someone who would, with their help, fulfill the perfect life they pictured for themselves. 
But this is not how things are meant to work.

I've heard the same story many a times: "I wanted to be a 'blank', but my parents wouldn't approve, so I had to sneak around doing what I loved, now I'm successful at the 'blank'." And if not successful, then content.

Yes - we all make mistakes, yes - they've had more experience then us, however that doesn't mean they know how life would turn out in our case. They can't know what future holds. 

By not understanding our choices, by not trusting us that they are right for us, our parents undermine their own parenting job. By not trusting us, they in turn don't trust themselves. After all, the fact that we aren't drug addicts or serial killers, started with them.

Of course, I don't think they behave like this out of malice, and many people would tell me that it's all because they love us... To which I'd reply - Duh! Of course they love us. Why else do we forgive them? If someone other said the things we hear from our folks - we'd wage war on them.
They love us, that's why we care what they say. We love them, that's why it matters how they view us. Just a little more understanding, a pinch of respect, a spoonful of trust and then we can eat it. 

Sunday, October 30, 2011

The new me is the old me is the same me

Like cotton-candy: our lives come back to the same place we started, except, it's one layer over every time. 
If you've ever kept a diary, go back to it, and see that the way you thought, the way you dealt with things then (be it problems or happy moments) is almost exactly the same as is now. You get bothered the same way, you get excited the same way, our feelings are the same; if we were emotional - we still are, if we were introverted - we still are, if we were funny - we still are, if we liked nature - we still do, party animals – are still party animals... 

Sometimes, we reach an understanding in our 20's, and all of the sudden remember that we had the same understanding when we were 13, but from a different point of view; now it's a little deeper, a little more defined. And it has a different effect on us. I don't doubt that the same understandings creep their way in at various times throughout our lives, bearing newer meaning each time. 
Yes, we do grow, we do change parts of us, we do learn a lot, but the core, the hardware is the same. 

How many of us have said "that's it, from now on I'm changing this or that, I'm going to be different; no more..." followed by whatever it is we dislike about our lives? And then what happens? Habits go away, likes and dislikes switch places, some people in our lives disappear, new ones move in, we change our lifestyles, clothes, bodies, faces, hairstyles, work, family, sex, name... We might now like the detective stories we despised previously, we might move to a country which we hated before, we might start loving something unexpected…
That’s all external stuff that can and does change (if you are alive, that is). But the way we express love or friendship, the way we show our fear, the way we laugh, the way we convey any and all our feelings, the way we crinkle our nose when we smell a flower – that stays the same.  

There is a great Armenian saying which goes "կարմիր կովը կաշին չի փոխի" - "the red cow can't change its skin". For my non-Armenian speaking readers - it means: no matter how much you try you cannot change the color of your skin, which in essence means that being anything but oneself is simply impossible. 

A Child With Rose-Colored Glasses

According to the dictionary, rose-colored glasses are: a happy or positive attitude that fails to notice negative things, leading to a view ...